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CONTACT: Letitia Peters
I.R.F.R. Week: PARENTS/GUARDIANS SHOULD TEACH CHILDREN & TEENS ABOUT THE FORGIVENESS PROCESS, ESPECIALLY IF THE CHURCH IS NOT DOING IT
“Holding onto Resentment or Anger from Childhood Could Lead to Bullies, Suicides, and/or Unhappy Adults”
July 27, 2014- Princeton, NJ- Who are teaching children and teens about forgiveness? The parents/guardians? The schools? The church? This is the question that Activist/Prophet Letitia Peters discussed last night as she continued International Repentance, Forgiveness, & Reconciliation (I.R.F.R.) Week. She discussed the topic of parents and guardians teaching the children and teens about forgiveness, as well as, using biblical scriptures about forgiveness and using Jesus/Yeshua as a role model. Forgiveness is a process and it is about more than just saying “I am sorry”. Forgiveness brings freedom. Teasing and Bullying are contributing to over 4,000 deaths a year. Why? Is it due to unforgiveness? On our September 30, 2012 show, we had as our special guest author of “That’s Not My Name” and President of Tease Free Kids, Anita Fendall (www.TeaseFreeKids.com) as she discussed how to handle bullying and how to help someone who is being bullied. She discussed the progression of bullying from childhood and how to stop it before it is out of control. Her archived show is at tp://www.blogtalkradio.com/isam/2012/10/01/heal-our-nations.
According to Maureen Healy, a child development expert who focus on children's emotional health and parenting. Her organization is called Growing Happy Kids (www.growinghappykids.com). In her article, “Are you really teaching your kids how to forgive?” she states, “Forgiveness doesn't merely occur when a little kid says, "I am sorry" for hitting you in the head with a football. You actually need to consciously go through a process of forgiving so you don't hold any resentment or anger. Think about it this way. Were you ever teased in school? What was his or her name? I remember David Smith* who made fun of me out the bus window in 1986 - it's as clear as day. Fortunately, I don't feel any emotion around this but if I did then some forgiveness work would be needed.Top of FormBottom of Form The same is true of kids. Terry stole her sister's bathing suit, broke one of the straps and infuriated her sister. Terry said, "I am sorry" and her sister was theoretically was supposed to just forgive. But what again does that mean? It means a whole lot more than a blanket "I am sorry" that supposed to magically sweep clean the situation. I have found that parents that teach their kids how to "really forgive" set them up to succeed and create a foundation of strength as well as self-love.
Here are 5 Simple Steps for Actual Forgiveness:
1. Acknowledge Acknowledge What Happened
2. Experience Experience Your Feelings
3. Communicate Say you want to forgive
4. Forgive State you don't want to carry the anger anymore
(or frustration, guilt, resentment)
5. Release Let it go. Give your anger to Great Spirit
(Buddha, Jesus, Source, Nature, Universe).
Today, (talk about the incident & how you felt at the time; I feel angry, betray, hurt, or rejected) I forgive name of person/myself for such & such with all my heart and mind in Jesus’/Yeshua’s name. I confess and repent of the sins that I committed against You, Lord. I ask for Your forgiveness, Lord. Cleanse me with the blood of Jesus/Yeshua from all unrighteousness & sin in Jesus’/Yeshua’s name. Lord, make my heart; pure in Jesus’/Yeshua’s name. You are such a merciful Lord that You remember me sin no more. Thank you, Lord.
Each of these steps must be felt from the heart but acted upon sequentially so a child learns how to truly forgive another child (parent, sister, and friend). It will free their emotional body from unresolved grief, pain, sadness and hurt. And it would look like this, Jessie states: Terry, you stole my bathing suit and broke it. My feelings are hurt. This stinks. I want to forgive you. Please don't take my things without asking. I don't want to fight. I love you. Forgiveness is an emotional process of clearing past hurts so you can be free to live your happiest life as an adult or child. Forgiveness isn't exclusively about becoming emotionally free. It is a mindset that when cultivated can help you see yourself as part of a larger community of people that are perfectly imperfect - each of us has needed to forgive someone, and also be forgiven so the practice goes both ways.
One mother, Margaret, told me that she sits with her kids nightly and says "Is there anyone who we are holding outside of our hearts?" so the topic of forgiveness is put on the table and used to clear any daily hurts.
Like Catherine Ponder suggested, the forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good. I believe this is true. The more I have forgiven myself and others in my life - the more miracles, joy and happiness flowed in easily. And now isn't that what every parent wants? Kids that know how to be happier, more compassionate and forgiving of self and others so their best life just opens up in front of them with less struggle and more ease. I believe so.”
Using the Holy Bible to Teach Children about Forgiveness
The Holy Bible should be the guide when teaching your children or teens about forgiveness. Someone said, “Forgiveness is giving up the right to hate those who have hurt us.” You are not responsible for their actions, but you are responsible for your actions to what was done to you even if it was provoked by unjust actions. (Source: The Handbook of Spiritual Warfare by Dr. Ed Murphy) The story of Jesus/Yeshua laying His life down on the cross to be crucified for our sins is an excellent example of forgiveness.
Bible Verses to Use to Teach Children/Teens About Forgiveness:
- Having hatred or unforgiveness in your heart for someone is a sin and you will not go to heaven as stated in Galatians 5:19-22
- This is a commandment that your heavenly father will not forgive you, if you don’t forgive others as stated in Matthew 6:14-15
- Forgiveness brings freedom; you should ask for forgiveness and confess your sins to be cleanse of all unrighteousness as stated in 1 John 1:9
- The Blood of Jesus/Yeshua will cleanse you of all sin as stated in 1 John 1:7
- How many times should you forgive?
- Using Jesus/Yeshua as a Role Model when He was Crucified on the Cross
- How to Treat Your Enemies
- Pray for Your Enemies
Movies to Watch:
As We Forgive: The Story of Rwanda's Redemption www.AsWeForgiveMovie.com Rwandan Reconciliation Survivors of the Genocide are Finding Ways to Forgive those that Killed their Loved Ones: (Cut and paste into browser) video.pbs.orglvideoI1948689882
Grace, Amish way of Forgiving: You can download or buy the movie on various websites.
Heaven’s Rain produced & directed by Brooks Douglass
Heaven’s Rain is a powerful tool for starting meaningful conversations about family, faith, forgiveness, & policy reform. You can host a Heaven’s Rain showing. This movie could be integrated into prison ministries. Rev. Arthur Hallet, Director – Evangelism Explosion Prison Ministry said, “I was highly moved by the reflection of compassion, reality of emotions & depth of forgiveness portrayed in Heaven’s Rain. As a minister to prisoners, this movie will prove to be one of my greatest assets in our attempt to bring reconciliation to the victims & the victimizer. It is real life proof that no matter what the crime, there is potential for forgiveness, closure, and above all inner peace.”
Oprah and Lifeclass Teachers Live from Toronto: The Power of Forgiveness
Website for Kids:
Visit Carey Kinsolving’s website that inspires kids to know God and to know the Bible: www.kidstalkaboutGod.org.